A lunch, lunch time ago
I can still remember how
Pastrami used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my brunch,
That I could make it until lunch
(Well, maybe, with a little piece of pie...)

But culinary made me shiver
With every chicken I'd de-liver.
Bad cooks on the doorstep;
I couldn't take more parsnip!

I can't remember if I dined.
I know I had far too much wine.
But something came from deep inside   *(came up from inside.)
The day the Roast Beef died.

So...

(Chorus)
Bye, bye Miss America Pie
Drove my Chevy to the takeout but the owner had died.
The good old cooks were eating corned beef on rye,
Saying this'll be the day that you die
From eating too much food that was fried.

Now did you write the book of lunch?
Do you have faith in... garlic punch,
If the menu tells you so?
Now do you want another roll?
And can you make filet of sole?
And can you teach me how to eat real slow?

Well I know that you've had lunch with him
Cause I saw you chewing in the gym
You both took out your... (spoken) dentures...
Well I love those eating adventures.

I love orange juice and orange duck
Got a stomach like a pickup truck
Love Chinese food when the rice is stuck
The day the Roast Beef died...

I started eating...

(Normal chorus)

Now for ten years we've benn on out own
And soup is good with a chicken bone
And with a little celery seed.
When the jester cooked for the King and Queen
In a pot that used to cook by steam
With a sauce that came from you and me.

Oh and while the King was chowing down,
The jester served a roast top round.
The bathroom was adjourned;
No feces was returned.

And while Reagan ate without remorse,
The courts all questioned Mr. North.
We ate the bullshit coming forth
The day that Europe fried.

They started singeing...

(Normal chorus up until...)
This'll be the day that you die,
From Reagan's tangent up in the sky.

Helter skelter in the summer swelter,
I see B.M.'s!  Find a fallout shelter!
Eight miles high and falling fast...
The landed fowl on the grass,
A real bad day for a nuclear blast.
Put the turkeys, and the chickens, in a cast.

The half-time air was no relief
With peanuts and some dead Roast Beef
We all pulled down our pants,
But we... (contemplating) never got the chance.

Cause the... (dramatic pause) carrots weren't fully peeled.
Digestive tracts just had to yield
We all recall what was revealed,
That day, the Roast Beef flied.

We were flinging...

(Normal chorus)

And there we were all in one place:
A generation stuffed its face
And soon the thyme would flow again.
So come on...
Jack Monterey and Cheddar Swiss
On nachos made with tuna fish
An utterly repulsive sounding dish.

But Jalapenos make me nauseous
So with them peppers I am cautious.
No angel cake from hell
Would ever sell too well.

And when I woke up in the night
I knew I needed one more bite.
But with my conscience I would fight
Til I saw the fridge's light.

And then I noticed...

No more Miss American Pie!
My Chevy's out of oil, my resources are dry.
If I were a bird you know I would fly,
Looking for another meal.
Spaghetti or... breaded veal.

I met a girl who ate the bleu... (clarifying) cheese.
I asked her for some napkins... (politely) please.
But she just smiled and... (factually) wiped her face.
I went down to the hobby store                    *(grocery: growsh-ree)
Where I'd bought the napkins once before,
But the man there said, "For napkins you must pay...
     Twenty dollars..."       (D, D sus 4, D dim, D)

And in the streets the children slobbered,
The lovers on the poets clobbered,
But with their noses broken,
They all moved to Hoboken.

And the three foods I desire most:
Roast Beef, milk, and Melba toast,
(advertisingly:)
They all taste good and go with Post... (spoken) Raisin Bran.
The day my taste buds died.

We finished eating...

(Chorus, barfishly, and end on:)
Them good old cooks were sitting outside,
Throwing... (pause, then barf)